Golden Days at the Senior Center

Do you think that only young people are having all the fun? How wrong you are.  I just returned from a visit to the local senior center.  My oh my! What a busy and buzzing place to enter.  I see happy and energetic men and women networking with new friends and exploring new horizons.  Outwardly, they seem to be upbeat and healthy; no canes, walkers or wheelchairs.  I approached a good looking gentleman.
"Good afternoon, my name is Fay.  What's yours?"
With a cordial smile he answered, "Call me Dan, short for Daniel."
"Nice to meet you Dan. As a writer interested in interviewing the aging population in many environments, I would like to ask you why you come here and what do you do here?"
"I am a widower and enjoy socializing especially with the ladies.  I must admit I'm a bit of a flirt and I hope that I can get lucky and meet a nice lady friend."
I continued to ask many questions of many people, always explaining my purpose.  The responses were surprisingly positive.
'My name is Lilly and I am here as a volunteer in the gift shop. Because I have always been an aficioanado of theatre, I usher at the Performing Arts Center on the weekends.  It makes me feel useful and needed."
"My name is Terry.  This is my home away from home.  I have a tendency to worry too much.  When I come here I leave my troubles behind.  I look and feel better meeting and talking to interesting people."
"My name is John.  I know that time is fleeting so I cherish every moment of every day.  I have a very strict medication schedule and when I come here, I feel like I have swallowed a happiness pill.  I enjoy the billiards table and the camraderie it provides."
"My name is Max.  I have chosen the fitness and exercise class for my aching back and stiff neck. I can definitely feel the improvement."
"My name is Fran.  I have been a widow for many years.  Luckily at 70, I am blessed with good health, am financially secure, and ready to love again.  Yoga is my favorite class."
The snack and coffee bar is always crowded.  These active guys and girls come in all shapes, sizes, and levels of fitness.  Happy conversation and camraderie are ongoing.
"My name is Jack. The card room is fun for me. I play both bridge and poker.  My memory is still okay because this is the way that my brain get a good workout".
"My name is Julia.  I love the ladies dance class called "The Slick Chicks".  It keeps me flexible and makes me feel young again."
As we age, there are many new changes and challenges and we must learn to adapt and adjust. Some share their ailments and handicaps and others choose to maintain their privacy.
With Betty's approval, since it was obvious that she was toting a portable oxygen tank, she was willing to explain her condition.
"When I was young, neither my husband nor I knew that smoking was so hazardous to our health.  He unfortunately died of lung cancer.  I have COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease).  I am breathless, but not helpless.  I tire easily so I have joined the Book Club. I find it very relaxing and I like sharing and discussing the current book selections."
My conclusions after a very informative and pleasant visit at the senior center:

These interesting men and women are all focused on living a good life by redefining their lifestyle.  They are all reasonably healthy in mind and body and they have all reached the acceptance of their aging process.  I would call them exceptional and extraordinary septuagenarians.

Happy News


Do you believe in destiny or the law of attraction? At one of the holiday dinner parties, guess what happened?  "Dapper Dan" and "Flamboyant Fran" are now engaged to be married!
Congratulations!! Good luck and good health.  Oh the joy ahead!

They call me a "Swinging Grandmother", but I don't care
I'm just not ready for a rocking chair.
Sometimes I wear a wig or color my hair
So let them call me, "A Swinging Grandmere".

Life is for living, I just don't fear it
I may be up on years, but I'm not down on spirit.
My compensations are many and pay big dividends
Not in making money, but in making new friends.

So no matter how the years go by
No matter how my birthdays fly
When it's time for me to go and I'm no longer young
Just remember me and say
"There goes a grandmother who really swung!"

MY BUCKET LIST

Do you want to put excitement into your life? Do you have the desire to learn something new? Do you have a passion or dream to fulfill? You may not be as physically fit as you used to be, but if you have clarity and lucidity, you must exercise your mind.
I know we all have our daily rituals. I also know it takes time and clock watching for all our necessary medical disciplines. I must admit that I was resting, relaxing, and enjoying too much television. It was becoming too addictive and too sedentary. Case in point: Since my high school days, my passion has always been the love of writing. "Now listen,Fay," I said to myself, "take positive action and learn something new." So, now the computer has become my new challenge. It takes time and patience and most importantly it takes a savvy teacher. Thanks to many lessons from my two daughters, I am now abound with enthusiasm and new found energy.

In April of 2004 Maya Angelou on her 74th birthday was interviewed by Oprah on her show. Oprah asked her what she thought about growing older, Among other wise viewpoints, she answered "I think it is exciting." The audience applauded her and so do I!

So, what is on your bucket list? If it's doable, do it! It's so true that you are never too old to live and learn. I am now a happy blogger.

THE POWER OF THE MIND

The mind accepts the thoughts you think
The thinking sinks and dwells within
Disturbs your days
Interrupts your sleep
   Be calm within.

Keep your thinking strong and clear
Though words may sting and be unkind.
Throw off the hurt
Reach peace of mind
   Be still within.

There is no pill for serenity
But with strength and courage combined
And love and hope and positivity
There is power in the mind.

Life is full of joy and grief
But the power of the mind is beyond belief.

LOVE IS THE ANSWER

When the mind is in a terrible state

The heart begins to palpitate

Oh the hurt and oh the pain

Must I endure this stress and strain?

What to do? What to say?

To forgive and forget is the only way.

Time evolves and conflicts dissolve

Love is the answer.

FORGIVENESS

Certain things in life you learn from experience. We have all incurred a situation where our feelings were hurt. To forgive or not to forgive? That is the question. I have chosen to forgive because I refuse to store rent free negativity in my mind. I become my own therapist and talk with myself. "Life is too short no matter how long it is. Get over it.  Move on. It's good for my emotional and physical health." Only brain surgery or Alzheimer's disease will make one forget. Find peace of mind when you reach forgiveness.

I have created a box

Marked "Let it be".

Because many a heartache

Has happened to me.

When friendships are over

And in your heart you know

You must weed friends from your garden

And just let them go.

When the welcome sign is no more

And the lock is bolted on the door

Gone is the warm compatibility

There exists too much negativity.

It's time to seal the box 

As tightly as can be

And sever your relationship

With their company.

And repeat to yourself, "Let it be, let it be."

CHOICES AND DECISIONS

"To your own self be true." You must recognize that this is the final chapter of your life. You love your privacy and independence.  You really want to stay in your "home sweet home." That is usually choice number one.  Good for you if you are reasonably healthy in mind and body with a few extra bucks.    But now, it's time that you ask for help.  With your doctor's approval, a local home care agency can provide you for a limited amount of time, with a registered nurse to check your vital statistics, physical therapist to assess your capabilities, and a home aide to help you shower or bathe.  This will all qualify for Medicare reimbursement.  However, you must incur other expenses from your personal income.  Meals on Wheels can be delivered to you if you are unable to cook.  A part time housekeeper is essential if you are unable to clean and do laundry.  And if you do not drive, you must hire a driver for your personal errands and necessary appointments.  By all means, you will enjoy the comforts of your home as long as you can.

Three ideal gifts in old age are health, wealth, and loving, caring, and supportive children.  An ideal situation is when the family jointly agrees to contribute to your happiness by providing shelter, love, and support.

Another new found lifestyle is a high end luxurious retirement center.  Your first visit will be a catered lunch in the dining room.  You will then be given a guided tour of the facility.  You will find the staff very gracious, meet compatible peers, see the amenities such as a swimming pool, exercise room, beauty parlor and barber shop.  The time is now to make a decision.  You may select a small or large apartment furnished or unfurnished.  You may also select one, two, or three meals a day.  The bulletin board boasts of house entertainment, busing to theatres, concerts, and events.  This is a fabulous lifestyle well worth the big bucks.  Go for it!  Money is the name of the game.

A less appealing choice for those who need more nursing care, is a nursing home.  My visit was very sad.  The depressing comment that I heard from the bedridden resident was, "For me, I know it's the beginning of the end." The facility is maintained well, but is often understaffed.  The less said the better.

Think it through carefully and do your best. Your future is in your hands. Wishing you much success.

LIFE IS BEYOND IMAGINATION

Once upon a time when you were young, healthy, and energetic, did you ever envision yourself in your dotage? Did you ever wonder how you would look or how you would feel? Yes, time is fleeting and your bad habits and your genetics are catching up to you. When you look in the mirror now and you see the wrinkled face and the thinning or balding hair, are you shocked by your unrecognizable self? "Who is this total stranger staring back at me?" You also honestly admit, " Oh my gosh! I am shorter, smaller, and stiffer. I never ever imagined this unbelievable revelation." Perhaps, if you are fortunate you still feel young and ageless.

Age is only a number
It's all in your mind my dear
Age is only a number
Keep your spirit high,discount the year!

Choose the age you want to remember
Hold onto that vision you see
And glow from within, that's the key.

Keep on nourishing that youthful feeling
Stop harping and making a fuss
With age comes experience and wisdom
Regard age as a blessing for us.

Age is only a number
As long as you dance and sing
If you're looking fine,having a good time,
Age doesn't mean a thing!

IS THERE A TIME TO DIE?

With life threatening conditions, chronic pain, and suffering, sometimes death becomes a welcome relief.
Time and time again during my many interviews I have heard, " Life sucks and I don't want to live this way anymore." "Life stinks and I am tired of being sick and tired." "They use anesthetics on animals and they shoot horses, don't they?"
My young niece once asked me "Auntie, what do you think death is like?" After some thought I said " I think
death is like drifting off to a permanent and blissful sleep. Finally, I think death is a place to rest in peace."

Death is never timely
Death is never fair
Time is a great healer
I know, 'cause I have been there.

MAMA-ISMS

I have repeated my mother's favorite three rules to all of my family. Now I would like to share them with you.

Rule #1-Take care of yourself for your old age.
Rule #2-Try not to stress your mind.
Rule #3-Do what's right for your own peace of mind.

Now for more of her witty expressions that I still recall:

"On someone else you see a fly, on yourself you don't see an elephant."

"Small children, small problems; bigger children, bigger problems."

"Good food is the best medicine.Better in your stomach than into the doctor's pocket."

"The choices you make, determine the ride you take."

"If you are bad and someone else is bad, who will be left to be good?"

"When a fool goes to market, the shopkeepers are happy.."

"An enemy can't do to you, what you can do to yourself."

"If you are too lazy to cook, you will go hungry, and if you are too lazy to clean your house, it will be messy."

"If someone gives you something, take it. If someone takes it away,scream!"

"Everything is good to have, except trouble."

"I brought up my children, you bring up yours!"

"Oh God! Don't lift me up too high, and drop me down, too low."

"A mother is a fool forever"

"God is laughing at the plans you are making."

This final one is my very favorite: "What was, was. What is, is. What will be, we must wait and see."

Family Love

My father was a quiet man with a quick dry wit. I think that I was his favorite child. "I wish I had twelve more like you" as he applauded me for my elocution recitations. No doubt about it, I loved my mother and father. Now I have an overwhelming love for my family.

My Poetry

You are in my mind like the waking sun
You are in my thoughts when day is done
You are in my soul all day through
That is my unconditional love for you.

Money and riches are not mine to give
But you have my love as long as I live
You are forever in my heart
Wherever you are, we are never apart.

Life Happens

So many books, magazine articles, and television programs glorify the aging process.  Don't believe any of it!  It's all just wishful thinking.

Robert Browning's poem

"Grow old along with me.
The best is yet to be.
The last of life, for which the first was made.
Our times are in His hands."

Oh yeah! Ask all the grieving, sad, and lonely widows and widowers if this is the best time of their lives.Daily life becomes a struggle when their dearly beloved partners are only past memories.

Yes, we all know that death is inevitable and inescapable.  John Lennon's music "Life is happening while we are making other plans," is so true.

My poetry:

Up and downs
Smiles and frowns
Life goes on

Bliss and sorrow
Today and tomorrow
Life goes on

Sun and rain
Health and pain
Life goes on

Young and old
Hot and cold
Life goes on

Good and bad
Happy and sad
Life goes on

Laugh and cry
Live and die
Life goes on

Lessons My Mother Taught Me

When anyone used to ask me "Fay, how old are you?" I used to answer "my age and telephone number are both unlisted." However, now that I am in my nineties, I do not hesitate because I am proud of my age.
I am also constantly asked, "What is your secret for longevity?" I must admit that I am the spirit of my mother. She took very good care of herself. She woke up early every morning to soak in her Jean Nate bath. I also love to luxuriate every morning in my bubble bath. She sat in front of her vanity with its three-way mirrors creaming her face with Ponds Cold Cream.  I moisturize my skin with an assortment of generic creams. She fussed with her hair and her nails and I also fuss with my nails by dipping them in equal parts of lime juice and olive oil and wearing hand gloves every night. I am a "do-it-yourself" lady as I cut and color my own hair and although I used to have body massages, I now do my own self massages after my morning stretches.

It's Not Easy Being Old

This is my conclusion and summation after many years of interviewing elderly men and women, everywhere and anywhere that they would take the time and give me their honest opinions.
Some were on canes, walkers, and in wheelchairs with or without their caregivers and their health aides.  This is my poetry.

It's not easy being old.
It's outrageous and contagious.
So much pain and so much fright.
Gone is gladness, so much sadness.
Restless, sleepless every night.

Body shrinking, looking smaller.
Stretching doesn't make me taller.
Knees are weakening, gait is slow.
Pushed in a wheelchair wherever I go.

Diarrhea, constipation.
Medications, palpitations.
Oh yes indeed! Truth be told.
It's not easy being old.

So now, perhaps you can readily understand that there are many more negative responses than positive statements depending on their present lifestyle and their state of health.